I'm so over summer.
I'm over the heat. The cloudless rain free sky. The brown crispy grass. The boring afternoons spent indoors because it's too hot for outside activities. Just over it.
I'm ready for fall. The cool crisp mornings that turn into just warm enough afternoons for a light sweater. Those days make for great hair days. I'm ready for low humidity and comfy warm coats. I'm ready for a pumpkin spice latte to actually warm you up when you drink it instead of making you sweat. I'm ready for the oranges and green and reds of fall decor on mantels and porches. I'm ready for the dropping leaves because it's getting cool not because the trees are so hot that they are stressed. I'm ready for it.
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September has me troubled. I've been in a funk about it. There's a lot going on this month and I'm preparing myself for it. Now for those that may read this and wonder, don't. I'm just putting my honesty down in blog form. It's all on my mind and I can't shake it. Blogging has been my means of cleansing. This time I can't "change names to protect the innocent". Here goes nothin'.
I'm going to be a working mom. In t-minus 21 days. I'll wake up to an alarm, dress in pre-preggo scrubs, eat breakfast, look decent, wake my child, feed my child, change my child all in time to be at work by 8. I'm a little nervous. No, no I'm flat out scared. That scared in your stomach you get before riding a roller coaster or being in front of a crowd. I almost want to be sick thinking about it.
I'm still going to be a good wife. We've prayed about this and though my head is 100% not wanting to do this my heart is saying otherwise. In all the future uncertainty on that day, God will be the constant. It will bring mega growth and maturity on my part. There's nothing else I can lean on but my faith.
I want to be the best mom possible. I'll probably break down about 50 times but I'm not the first woman to do this nor will I be the last. There are just times during my days with Little Man that I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I may not even accomplish much during my day but to see him smile and squirm just for me. Priceless. Why does that have to change? I want time to pause. Stand still just a little everyday so it doesn't go by so quickly.
I want to be the best worker, mom, and wife I can be all in one. Oh and be happy all the while. I don't want any areas to suffer. Especially my Little Man. Our worlds will be turned upside down but then a new routine will set it. Right? Someone tell me it will be okay on the other side. Truthfully, I'm blogging all this out just for me to re-read the night before I go back. It will be my "the little engine that could speech".
I hope I've got this. I hope I can do this. I don't think I'll even put mascara on that day. I really really want to be positive about this. Positive about the faces I'll see again and the accomplishments I'll achieve outside of changing a dirty diaper.
-The Momma
I'm over the heat. The cloudless rain free sky. The brown crispy grass. The boring afternoons spent indoors because it's too hot for outside activities. Just over it.
I'm ready for fall. The cool crisp mornings that turn into just warm enough afternoons for a light sweater. Those days make for great hair days. I'm ready for low humidity and comfy warm coats. I'm ready for a pumpkin spice latte to actually warm you up when you drink it instead of making you sweat. I'm ready for the oranges and green and reds of fall decor on mantels and porches. I'm ready for the dropping leaves because it's getting cool not because the trees are so hot that they are stressed. I'm ready for it.
----------
September has me troubled. I've been in a funk about it. There's a lot going on this month and I'm preparing myself for it. Now for those that may read this and wonder, don't. I'm just putting my honesty down in blog form. It's all on my mind and I can't shake it. Blogging has been my means of cleansing. This time I can't "change names to protect the innocent". Here goes nothin'.
I'm going to be a working mom. In t-minus 21 days. I'll wake up to an alarm, dress in pre-preggo scrubs, eat breakfast, look decent, wake my child, feed my child, change my child all in time to be at work by 8. I'm a little nervous. No, no I'm flat out scared. That scared in your stomach you get before riding a roller coaster or being in front of a crowd. I almost want to be sick thinking about it.
I'm still going to be a good wife. We've prayed about this and though my head is 100% not wanting to do this my heart is saying otherwise. In all the future uncertainty on that day, God will be the constant. It will bring mega growth and maturity on my part. There's nothing else I can lean on but my faith.
I want to be the best mom possible. I'll probably break down about 50 times but I'm not the first woman to do this nor will I be the last. There are just times during my days with Little Man that I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I may not even accomplish much during my day but to see him smile and squirm just for me. Priceless. Why does that have to change? I want time to pause. Stand still just a little everyday so it doesn't go by so quickly.
I want to be the best worker, mom, and wife I can be all in one. Oh and be happy all the while. I don't want any areas to suffer. Especially my Little Man. Our worlds will be turned upside down but then a new routine will set it. Right? Someone tell me it will be okay on the other side. Truthfully, I'm blogging all this out just for me to re-read the night before I go back. It will be my "the little engine that could speech".
I hope I've got this. I hope I can do this. I don't think I'll even put mascara on that day. I really really want to be positive about this. Positive about the faces I'll see again and the accomplishments I'll achieve outside of changing a dirty diaper.
Whoop!
My favorite kitchen helper!
Everyone likes story time.
-The Momma
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