Sissy Pants

 I want this picture blown up and put in my house. Sigh.

This country girl lost a little bit of country yesterday. 

There is plenty I get my hands dirty with but there's a list of eeby-jeebies too. 

Skittering, nesting, smelly, chewing varmints. :shutter: Oh a mouse here and there is fine. Cute, actually, but the bigger they get and the more likely they are to get rabies, um not so much.

It never helps when I can't see the critter either. What is probably something the size of a cat quickly turns into the size of bigfoot's offspring. If I can hear it, particularly under my house but can't see it, oh it's major eeby jeebies. 

It all started when the crazy-next-door-neighbor-lady's pups were scurrying under the house the night before. It's happened before but they were excited about something! Next day at noon the real commotion started. The dogs were barking non stop, then a major "I've been hurt" yip followed by more barking and growling. 

Did I mention they were in the underparts of our house? Not just underneath in the dirt but IN my houses' innerds. One more bout of growling, yipping, and FLOOR SHAKING and I'm on the phone with the Dr. {who's at work} begging him to come home NOW and get the beast animal out. 

I was picturing it in my head - I'm going about my business and this beast pops out of the floor vents and begins gnashing it's sharp fangs at me while ravenous foam spews from its mouth.

Do you see why I can't handle situations likes these?!?! 

The Dr. wouldn't be home for another 30 minutes. Well this sissy-pants couldn't wait that long. {I laugh now at how looooong I was thinking that would be and somehow I'd be bruised and bloody from fighting the beast} I called my neighbor and calmly asked if I could borrow his bb gun. 

Just give the beast a little ping on the hind parts. Nothing damaging.

Secretly I was hoping he'd be curious why I needed the gun and begin investigating himself before the Dr. made it home. Sissy pants. I told you!

I really wish this story had a funny ending like "it was just a sweet, precious kitten" or "it was a large rat, the dogs got it". Wouldn't that be easy. HA! Didn't happen!

I'm sitting here with my toes curled hoping the beast doesn't start chewing on them through the floor. That little, ahem, no-large sucker is still up in there! We've cut off all entry/exit points and set a trap. Now praying it isn't a momma with a nest of babies. 

Yes. Babies. Why? Because it can't be simple. Never. Except the time there was a skunk family in our shed and momma was nice enough to evict herself. 

Moral of the story: don't trust me to be country all the time. I know, you're so disappointed. But really who doesn't have a list of things they just shutter at go into utter sissy pants mode?

Just make me feel better and say yes. 

  -The Momma